It’s a good controller. Thanks, Nintendo.
Prepared by Joe
In the 90s, Nintendo’s R&D was… well… not looking too good. They ghosted Sony on the Nintendo PlayStation, leading to Sony creating the… Sony PlayStation.
Hello 90s, my old friend.
Meanwhile, the Philips CDI existed to defy God, the Virtual Boy died of dysentery, and the biggest sales driver at Nintendo was a nuclear bomb-proof calculator (Game Boy). Nintendo’s future was unsure with the bit wars weighing heavy on their shoulders.
Okay, that’s a lie, because Nintendo’s R&D department cracked open a Four Loco and blazed a trail to one of their weirdest and most unnecessarily convoluted systems of all time: the Nintendo 64. Nintendo for Nintendo, 64 for the bits. “It had more bits than the PS1, therefore betterer” – Lance Barr, probably.
Everyone, the Nintendo PlayStation
The N64 was Nintendo’s first two-feet-in foray into a fully 3D capable machine, and quickly became the go-to for parents to buy for their children to distract them from their impending divorce with hits like Super Mario 64, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Donkey Kong 64, and South Park 64.
My parents are still together, so I never had an N64 growing up, but I was always captivated by the uniqueness of its design: the old aspect of using cartridges while playing fully 3D games, the gargantuan amount of money needed to buy games, and accessories, and most iconic of all: The N64 Controller.
The Nintendo 64 Controller
In all its glory
Un-fun fact: This controller was not developed alongside Super Mario 64. Sorry to open with a bubble burster, but I needed to clarify with absolute certainty that this controller had no real motive or goal to achieve other than “IDK, make it for 3D games.” And they certainly… did that.
Most notably we have exhibit 1: The trident, or the “M” design meant for three arms. Why? Well, and I am not kidding, it’s there because Nintendo wanted to provide options between using the D-Pad or the analog stick requiring you to switch hand positions. Which is otherwise impossible to do unless you are any controller manufacturer after 1996.
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- Straight from the patent
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- Also from the patent
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- The crunch is located here
Exhibit 2: The analog stick. The destroyer of palms. Lightning did not strike twice when Nintendo came up with possibly the worst mechanism ever for a D-Pad, a heavily friction-based one. And one that got suspiciously more crunchy as time went on until the dang thing straight up wiggled in place.
The very same analog stick is a long and rough chunk of plastic that bruises every 7-year-old’s palm so badly that owners of Mario Party can claim a free pair of gloves. I wonder how much those cost on eBay now (I literally can’t find them)? It is also the only analog stick for the N64 that gets you 100% accuracy and full range of motion on the console.
Made better with spiky Stubbs Nubbs
Exhibit C: The C-buttons. This singular additive caused decades of turmoil in the emulation scene. Should they be mapped to the right stick like on the GameCube? Should they be mapped to the D-Pad since it’s basically useless otherwise? Should they be cleverly mapped to the rest of the face buttons? Did Nintendo seriously thank people we get too confused if they just added another stick?
I truly don’t know the answer to any of these (Except the GameCube part, they nailed the mapping for the Zelda 64 stuff). The scheme does sort of mimic the Sega Genesis but effectively becomes either a camera or a secondary set of contextual buttons like in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time/Majora’s Mask.
Oh, I get it
All of these weird choices with the controller leave me with one thought: “I get it, But it also makes me need to take an anti-acid”. Retro Handhelds writer, and de facto controller expert, Nick sums up the controller perfectly in two sentences:
“It had some good ideas but was limited by the design and times. The Z button made for the first real ‘Trigger’ In my opinion, but outside nostalgia I don’t know if there’s a strong argument to use one in 2024.” – Nick (Finishing My Coffee)
A Strong Argument for the Nintendo 64 Controller
Ohana means no one gets left in storage, or sold on eBay
“What do you mean Joe? You wrote an entire essay stating why it’s bad.” And you’re right. Despite that, This is the one and only controller I go to for pretty much every retro Nintendo console except the Super Nintendo. Why? Because I’m an idiot and easily give in to nostalgia. Also, the controller has some very good qualities.
It clicked for me when playing Nintendo Switch Online that the criminally underused D-Pad is one of the best Nintendo has ever produced. It’s a great size and it feels very good, maybe even better than the Super Nintendo.
C-Down is mapped to the right trigger for some reason
Additionally, the A and B buttons are arranged in a way where there is true harmony between gripping the controller and using just those buttons. Sure the controller lacks a Select button, But you get a Start at least. And for most titles that’s all you need. The same goes for Game Boy Color and Advance, factoring in the L&R buttons.
Additionally, this might be because I’m an idiot, but I will die on the hill that this controller is still the best way to experience N64 games, especially considering that they were built to accommodate the controller and not the other way around. GoldenEye still sucks, but that is because it has always sucked.
When it comes to Star Fox, the Zelda titles, and even Super Mario 64, navigating this wonky control scheme with this wonky controller is your best bet due to the accuracy of the analog stick and the C-buttons being mapped to the C-buttons. Whatever you do though, Don’t do a mapping check for the NSO controller on Steam Deck. Biggest mistake of my life.
Wrapping Up
GoldenEye anyone? Which controller are you grabbing?
Okay let’s be honest, when the twerpy and unsoiled kid in you wants to delve into objectively flawed 3D precursors, are you inclined to reach for your Xbox Series Elite 2 controller? Or are you going to be reaching for your iconic trident, objectively flawed, 3D precursor?
The controller has its value in playing other Nintendo retro titles with OEM controls, And because of this, I would highly recommend getting the NSO controller if you can. Otherwise, there is the Bluetooth mod kit by 8bitdo that turns your existing controller into something more usable on a PC.
For the NSO controller, the default mapping on PC is an absolute nightmare without going out of your way for proper driver support, I think I spent a total of 3 hours configuring my Steam Deck to work with it for the Zelda ports, but the extra buttons and rumble are very nice additives for hotkeys and the like. I love my stupid three-arm, terrible analog stick, rumble pack inserting doodad. And you should too. Or else.
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